Life as a mother was far from what I expected.
Pregnancy was great, uncomfortable at times, but there was never anything to complain about, after all I was building a human body inside my own body, HOW MIRACULOUS, and hard and exhausting, but MIRACULOUS! I wanted this baby more than anything, this was the beginning of my family here on Earth, and I was SO excited! I also found it very annoying when expected mother's did complain, because somewhere along the way it was their choice to become pregnant.
Pregnancy was great, uncomfortable at times, but there was never anything to complain about, after all I was building a human body inside my own body, HOW MIRACULOUS, and hard and exhausting, but MIRACULOUS! I wanted this baby more than anything, this was the beginning of my family here on Earth, and I was SO excited! I also found it very annoying when expected mother's did complain, because somewhere along the line it was their choice to become pregnant.I had this unrealistic picture in my head that my life would go completely back to "normal" once I had my baby. I didn't realize that going to the store, taking a shower, traveling, sleeping, cooking, dreaming, eating, cleaning, physical appearance, money would NEVER be the same. I now had a baby to care for, love and nurture for the rest of my life… a bit overwhelming wouldn't you say?
It may have been tremendously overwhelming because my husband and I decided that we wanted our child to be breastfed. As a first time mother, this was the hardest part! Nursing is such a new experience, beginning with the fact that your body is producing milk to sustain a human life, to the built in knowledge that your baby knows exactly what to do with a breast. Learning to listen to your body and recognize when your baby is wanting to nurse was a real adjustment, and a hard one at that.
I was looking forward to birth so I could have my great athletic body back. I had an image in my mind that I would have my stomach back, I would be perfectly fit again, and I could go on runs, wear my old clothes, feel attractive and skinny again. I was far from understanding that my body had to go through a healing process and was a different body then it was 9 months previous. It sounds silly to think about now, of course your body needs to heal, and of course your body will need work to get back to pre-pregnancy weight and fitness. Having the patience to let my body heal was half the battle, I'm a very active person, and laying around healing wasn't my ideal scenario.
Pre-pregnancy I didn't realize the time and effort I would have to put forth in order to raise a child, I was so caught up in the fact that I was pregnant and getting tons of attention that I overlooked the pending responsibility that was coming. Looking at so many mother's around me I had this misconception that raising children was going to be easy! So many, women had done it before me, how could it be so hard? Come to find out babies are needy and solely dependent on their care giver. I remember thinking during the first few weeks we brought our precious package home, that my life was over, my life was now in the hands of this adorable, sleepy little newborn.Life wasn't going back to "normal," life was now becoming normal. Change takes time to accept. and change is the theme in every overwhelming scenario that I experienced. Something I didn't comprehend before my baby made his big debut. The joy of being pregnant and bringing life into this world can cloud reality. I needed to accept that my life had changed, and had I accepted this before I gave birth to my sweet 8.5 pound 20 inch long baby, adjusting to life may have been a little bit easier. Change is good and necessary and in this case extremely fulfilling. Having a child is such a wonderful blessing and my life now is committed to him and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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